There is help for our soldiers

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL (0.00 / 0)

I commend you both for your strength, perseverance, persisting and tremendously hard work.

You described so much of my recovery from TBI which began almost exactly 10 years ago (3/14/09) and continues today.

I could not have made one step in this journey without the help of many.

Early on, my mother, my daughter and friends. After the first year, I moved 200 miles since my mom had moved back to her home and stop living with me after six months. My daughter (and granddaughter) moved in with me for a year. My move also brought me nearer to my sister and brother in law who joined the "team" helping me.

Then, for over 2 years it was 90% my wife's assistance.

Today it is SOLELY my wife's help since we moved 1800 miles away from my family to the southwest for the weather to help with my physical injuries.

I am on disability and get my health care at the V.A. and they have provided mental health assistance.

My wife does all you mentioned that you do. She is not only my wife and friend, she is my nurse, my organizer, my rudder, my rock, my memory and more. If not for her, I would be lost.

It took a lot of work, many years, many "tricks of the trade" and much help from professionals, but for about four years now I have had a balanced, healthy and happy life.

Looking back, the first few years were the hardest. Acceptance of my condition, humility, asking for help, pursuing help and accepting help were the keys and the most emotionally difficult. I had been an independent, self reliant and successful business man who defined himself by his job, accolades and income. Swallowing ones pride and redefining what determines ones self worth are difficult tasks.

You are right. There is help within the military structure.

The key is the "wounded" warrior must recognize, accept, admit, seek help and get help. If they are fortunate enough to have a wife like you they have a much, much better chance at returning to a relatively normal life.

God bless you. There is a poem often falsely attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson but most likely written by a woman named Bessie Stanley in 1905 (http://www.transcendentalists.com/success.htm) entitled SUCCESS.

The last line reads;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

My dear, YOU have succeeded.  

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation." Herbert Spencer

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by: DonQuixote @ Thu Mar 12, 2009 at 08:19:49 AM CDT

Thank you (6.00 / 1)

Thank you, DonQuixote, for recognizing me.  All these years I thought I didn't have a purpose to my life.  I thought I was a failure for not achieving my goals.  I've always been a soldier's wife; always helping my husband.  Never being able to do what I want.  Life isn't about what we want, it's about helping people.  That is the key to a successful life.  Now I CAN be proud of myself and know I have accomplished something very big...saving another's life and dignity.

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by: dstpandibt @ Fri Mar 13, 2009 at 11:26:18 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

Advocates, Yes (0.00 / 0)

I am now his advocate to everything he does.

You hit the nail right on the head, PTSD and TBI casualties are not able to operate in their own best interests.  They need committed advocates on their behalf, be it a spouse, friend, or veteran from another era.  And, as you state, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

While our military and government establishments may not yet "get it" in terms of recognizing and adequately providing care for these casualties,all of us, as concerned, caring individuals can help, either by getting the word out about serious issue of PTSD/TBI casualties, or, as in your case, dstpandibt, acting as a loving, committed and persistent advocate.

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by: BigFella @ Thu Mar 12, 2009 at 12:06:51 PM CDT

response (0.00 / 0)

i am glad that some people are geting help my husband has been going to mental health for almost a year they HAVE DONE ABOSLUTELY NOTHING BUT GIVE HIME MEDICATIONS THAT DO NOT WORK so i am glad to hear that someone out there is actually geting they help they deserve

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by: jenv @ Thu May 14, 2009 at 15:29:04 PM CDT